World So Cold
by MyMischeifCantBeManaged
Summary: What if Ponyboy hadn't read Johnny's letter. What if that is what kept him from becoming the next Dallas Winston. If you look hard enough you may see slash dallypony but if not thats cool to R


Hey Guys! So this is my first outsiders fanfiction. Probably sucks. So yeah. Here it is.

Disclaimer: Me no own.

XxxX

Three Years ago I wouldn't have believed that eyes could change colors. Three years ago, I would have cared about what my hair looks like, and would make sure it stays the way I like it. Three years ago I never would have believed a person could change completely in a short 3 years. Three years ago I never would have expected to be walking out of the cooler for the umpteenth time. But I know different now. I am different now.

I walked out of the cooler, into the blinding light. My eyes grazed over the scene in front of me. The same as it always is. I thought back over all of the reasons I had been arrested for in the past 3 years. Theft, assaults, destruction of property. The list goes on and on. Though not all of them had actually been committed by me. Like the most recent, breaking a window on a cop car. I had been walking with Two-bit when he kicked a rock and it went straight through the back window of a cop car. Of course the cop figured it was me. My record at the cop shack was a mile wide. And most of the cops knew me by name of course.

"Alright Curtis! I know it was you don't even try to deny It!" the cop yelled.

And of course I didn't. What was the point in getting two-bit thrown in the cooler. He hated that place. I'm not saying that I like it, I'm just saying I handle it better than anyone in the gang does.

Every time I get thrown into the cooler, Curly Shepard stops by, asking what I did and seeing if he can out do me in the same area of crime. Not that he can, he just tries. And often fails. Miserably.

During my thinking, I hadn't realized that I had already made it to my brothers' shared home. Though I no longer lived there. I couldn't take the disappointed looks from Darry. Or the hurt looks from Soda. Normally looks like that don't bother me, as I get worse every day of my existence. Its just that my brothers still have a small amount of effect on me. Anyways I moved to the room Dally had once lived in at Buck's place.

I stepped into the small living room, and Darry looked up from his chair and nodded, like he always does when I show up from getting out of the cooler. The first time I was in, was the last time he visited me. And it was to tell me how disappointed he was that I had gotten thrown in. Soda visited me up until my 6th time. Then he said he couldn't take seeing me in the orange jump suits.

Soda is also the one who pointed out that my eyes are no longer a greenish/grey color. They are now ice cold and blue. He says that even though my hair stayed the same color, I look like a mini Dally. He says I walk the same and talk the same. And my eyes look like his had.

Darry is the one who told me that I changed completely in my personality. How he realized something was up when I quite watching sunsets, and I never read anymore. And how he noticed I cut school more often then normal, and smoked like a hay stack. He said he noticed that I didn't have the same respect for people that I used to. And that I seemed cold and hard, and rude. He told me I needed to stop acting like Dally, otherwise I would end up the same way he did. Dead.

But that's how it is for everyone isn't it? You live for some years and then you die. Plain and simple.

I couldn't take it that day. I couldn't handle the talk of Dally. I couldn't handle how I had become like the man I hated so much for so many years. And then when I suddenly didn't hate him, and instead I truly respected and looked up to him, he was taken from me. I couldn't take it. I knew what I had become. I had become what I wanted to become. I knew what was happening the day it started. I knew I was going to be another Dallas Winston. I knew I was going to be that greaser that you weren't sure really was a greaser, or if they were a hood. I knew I was going to become a JD, and I knew that I didn't care. I knew that that was what I wanted. And ever since then I always got what I wanted. Always.

I also know that I am going to end up just like Dally. I'm going to die. And its going to be soon. I'm 17, and it's the same day that Dally had gotten out of the cooler, the week before he died. Déjà vu sets in when I realize this. And I know I'm close to the end of the line.

Because in a world so cold, in a world where greasers are automatically hoods, JDs, and will never prosper, kids like me will never go anywhere. And kids like me will die a brutal death, whether it be by a mugging, which doesn't work with me because I can take pretty much anyone, or by cops, or something worse. It will happen. No stopping it.

In this world so cold.

XxxX

Yeah so that really sucked. I am sorry if you wasted your time in reading the patheticness that is World So Cold. And even though this is complete I will let you know something.

Pony in a weeks time on the same night Dally and Johnny died did the exact same thing Dally did. And dies the same death. I just didn't want to write about it.

Leave a comment telling me how much you hated this story! Or if by some chance you liked it please tell me about that to.

By guys!


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